top of page

Polygyny: Don’t Confuse It With Lust

Writer: Rob KowalskiRob Kowalski

Updated: Mar 4

Let’s talk about one of the biggest misconceptions about polygyny—the one that people love to throw at me the moment they hear I support it.

"Rob, just admit you want to sleep with multiple women.""You’re just trying to justify your lust.""This isn’t about God, this is about your flesh."

I’ve heard it all.

And let me tell you—nothing could be further from the truth.


The Reality of Male Nature

Yes, let’s be honest—men are wired for variety. It’s biological. It’s undeniable. And God designed us this way.

But here’s where people get it wrong—lust and polygyny are not the same thing.

Lust is about short-term gratification. Lust is the guy who can’t control himself, who chases novelty and abandons responsibility. Lust is selfish.

And if a man was truly just driven by lust, why would he ever get married at all?

Think about it.

If the goal was just to satisfy a craving for something new, wouldn’t it make more sense to do what the world does? To just stay single and sleep around? To embrace hookup culture, polyamory, or open relationships?

That’s what men who are ruled by lust do.

But polygyny?

Polygyny is about commitment. It’s about responsibility. It’s about love.


The Weight of Real Biblical Polygyny

Let me paint a picture for you:

Imagine being married to multiple women for the rest of your life.

These women depend on you—for emotional, spiritual, and financial leadership. They need you to protect them, guide them, and be present for them and the children they bear for you.

That is not a relationship built on lust.

That’s a relationship built on sacrifice.

Lust says, “What can I get for me?”Polygyny says, “How can I serve these women and their children?”

That’s a huge responsibility, not a free pass for your flesh.

In fact, let me say this loud and clear: polygyny is not for every man.

Not every man is built for it. Not every man is spiritually, emotionally, or financially capable of handling multiple wives and families.

And it’s definitely not for a man who can’t master his lust.

Because if he can’t control himself, polygyny won’t save him. It will destroy him—and his family.


The Irony of the “Monogamy-Only” Culture

And here’s the ironic part…

The people who say polygyny is about lust are often the same ones sitting in churches filled with sexual sin.

The same churches that tell men monogamy-only is God’s plan are the ones full of:

🚨 Porn addiction🚨 Fornication🚨 Serial divorce and remarriage (which Jesus literally calls adultery in Luke 16:18!)🚨 Pastors caught in scandals left and right

If monogamy-only was really the cure for lust, shouldn’t it be working?

Instead, we see Christian men struggling just as much—if not more—than the world.

And yet, godly men who take on the responsibility of leading multiple wives get judged the hardest.

Make it make sense.


Biblical Marriage vs. Lustful Living

So, let’s be clear:

💡 Lust doesn’t commit.💡 Lust doesn’t provide.💡 Lust doesn’t protect or lead.💡 Lust doesn’t build families.

But polygyny?

Polygyny commits—for life.Polygyny protects and provides.Polygyny builds legacy and strong families.Polygyny takes on the responsibility of leading multiple women righteously.

And that’s exactly why God allowed it—because it’s the opposite of selfish lust.


The Challenge

If you still think polygyny is just about lust, I challenge you:

Actually read the Bible.

🚨 Where does God ever condemn polygyny?🚨 Why did He give laws regulating it instead of banning it?🚨 Why did so many of His most righteous men have multiple wives?

And most importantly—why is the “monogamy-only” church full of the same sexual sin it claims to prevent?

Maybe it’s time to stop repeating what you’ve been told…

And start reading what God actually said.


Final Thoughts

If polygyny was just about lust, I wouldn’t be talking about it.

I wouldn’t be putting my reputation on the line, taking all this criticism, and fighting for something that I know so many people will reject.

I’m not here because I “want multiple wives.”

I’m here because I believe biblical truth has been suppressed—and it’s costing men and women their marriages, their happiness, and in some cases, even their faith.

The truth is out there.

The question is—are you willing to see it?


Desire biblical marriage (monogamy/polygyny)? Please complete this form to apply for coaching.


Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, please consider reposting or sharing it with someone who needs to know. Would mean a lot to me and it helps expose the truth. Feel free to

Say Hello On

Subscribe to my YouTube HERE


 
 
 

Comments


bottom of page