The Math Doesn’t Work Without Polygyny
- rob6022
- Aug 29
- 2 min read
Why the Numbers Don’t Add Up
Look around today and you’ll see the cracks in our marriage model. More women are single than ever. More men are frustrated and lonely. Families are fractured, and the questions keep coming:
“Why are so many women single?”
“Where are all the good men?”
The answer isn’t that complicated. It’s math.
Hypergamy and Hypogamy: Two Natural Instincts
Most women are hypergamous—they desire to “marry up.” A man with higher status, wisdom, strength, and provision. This isn’t shallow—it’s biological, social, and God-designed.
Most men, on the other hand, are hypogamous. We’re drawn to women who are younger, more feminine, and less experienced. Again, this is natural.
But when you enforce monogamy-only across the whole society, those instincts collide in a way that simply doesn’t work.
Millions of women are chasing the top 10–20% of men.
The bottom 80% of men are ignored or rejected.
And the high-value men? They can’t marry more than one woman—even if they’re able and willing.
The result? Broken math. Broken hearts. Broken families.
What the Bible Actually Shows
The Bible’s model for marriage solves this imbalance. It’s not modern romance, it’s covenant.
Jacob married Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, and Zilpah (Genesis 29–30).
David had multiple wives, beginning with Michal after paying a steep bride price (1 Samuel 18:25–27).
Elkanah, the father of Samuel, had two wives—yet Scripture shows his love for Hannah was genuine and deep (1 Samuel 1:1–5).
In every case, the women were chosen. They weren’t diminished by the presence of others. Exclusivity was required of wives toward their husbands, but not of husbands toward their wives.
Covenant vs. Exclusivity
That’s the key distinction. Modern church tradition equates “being chosen” with being “the only one.” But biblically, being chosen meant covenant, provision, and protection.
A man proved it through the bride price—often one or two years of wages (Exodus 22:16–17). That was costly proof that a woman was valued and wanted.
But nowhere does Scripture teach that a man could only ever have one wife. To force that idea is to add to God’s Word, something we are explicitly warned not to do (Deuteronomy 4:2).
Why Polygyny Makes Sense Today
When we reintroduce biblical polygyny, the math works again:
More women have access to the kind of man they truly desire.
High-value men take responsibility with honor, instead of sneaking around or leaving trails of broken relationships.
Average men are motivated to rise, build themselves up, and become the kind of leaders women want to follow.
It’s not just biblical—it’s logical.
Final Thought
The modern marriage model is cracking under its own weight because it ignores both human nature and God’s Word. The math doesn’t lie.
Polygyny isn’t about lust, it’s about legacy. It gives women the security of being chosen, men the responsibility of leadership, and families the foundation to thrive.
Until we stop adding to Scripture and start following what God actually said, the math will never add up.
Want to learn more about all this?
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